These are some thoughts I wanted to write down because I was wondering wether I was wrong feeling this way or did someone else notice the fact that many islamic articles, scholars, books love to tell HOW MUSLIM WOMEN SHOULD BE AND BEHAVE.
I am not saying that women do not need some guidelines and tips on how to be a good muslima but why are people most of the times focused on women? Where are the men in all that?
(Sorry this species temporarily diappeared while trying to educate women)
When it comes to modesty, we love to highlight on how to cover a woman, stating how her hijab should be and how it is compulsory for her to wear loose clothes. And what about the muslim brothers then? What about muslim brothers who wear tight jeans/shirts? What about the muslim brothers who have extravagant haircuts? What about the Muslim brothers who wear jeans in such a way that their undergarments can be seen?
When it comes to handling a marriage , once again, many muslims will be like throwing millions pieces of advice on muslim women. “When your husband yells at you, do not raise your voice”. Do all the best to make your home a beautiful place where everyone can rest, especially for when your husband come back from work”. “You should always smell good, wear nice clothes ect...”. On the ther side, the husband can smell like fish, he can be dressed in his pyjamas and when he invites you to be intimate, forget about his bad odors, you just satisfy his needs. *roll eyes*
Personally I have not yet seen many articles saying how both men and women should behave, because obviously only muslim women should make big efforts. Very often by listening to people around me or by my readings, I have the feeling that some muslims give women a very inferior place in society as compared to men. And astaghfirullah (God forgives me), this frustrates me a lot. Muslim women do not marry men to be their maids na, so why are most advice going towards that point? What is horrifying is the fact that some women believe it is normal to be treated like a servant while the husband just sit on the sofa doing nothing!!!!????
When it comes to punishment because of adultery: who are the ones being punished? I guess many of you know the answer. When basically it takes a man and a woman to commit adultery, whyyyyyyy do many “islamic countries” get the woman punished and not the man?????????? “Because it is her fault, because the devil whisper things to her to attain a man and bla bla bla” – that is what many muslim will say.
Anyway, my conclusion is Allah gave rights to women, but there will always be people withdrawing these rights from women. Men will be men, this is what I feel. No matter what is the religion, men will always want to control everything they want including women. Hey, we are human beings with soul too and by no way we are one’s possessions.
P.S. Of course I am not putting all the brothers in the same bowl. Secondly, this article was written after my own experience (the articles I read, Youtube videos I saw, books I read, how people behave around me), therefore maybe my frustration is triggered off by the fact that I did not get the right islamic tools till now????
© Fateema Abdallah
Last year was the first Ramadan I spent as a mother and unfortunately it did not go well at all. This was the Ramadan when I had to manage between being a wife, a mother and trying to find time for acts of worship but I still did not find out how to do that properly.
That is why I am asking help from my sisters, please can you tell me how do you manage your days during the month of Ramadan while being a wife and mother? If you already have written a post about it, you can paste the link in the comment section. I really need your help so that this year I can get many rewards during the upcoming month of Ramadan.
I was looking for some videos hoping to find easy ways to wear the hijab. Everything went fine until I saw a sister with heavy make up and I was saddened given the fact her make up drew more attention towards her face. When I searched about the hijab I learnt some main points:
1) Hijab literally means a screen, a cover or a curtain. Hence following that definition, I believe that hijab is meant to protect a woman from the gaze of others, especially from men so that they don’t lust after her.
2) Hijab is also the fact of being dressed in a loose garment in such a way that one’s body shape is not revealed.
3) Others also include characters such as shyness, humility, humbleness as being part of “hijab”. Indeed, an arrogant person will draw more attention towards him/her.
Ok, now after having laid out the basic definition and characteristics of “hijab”, I wonder if it is permissible to wear a huge amount of make up. I do not mean to slander anyone but I have seen how make up made some sisters’ face look arrogant, how they behaved as being superior to others and how they acted as being over confident.
Some islamic scholars say it is permissible for a woman to beautify herself for her husband but once outside her home, she should not wear excessive make up. I feel this view is correct.
Dear sisters, what have you learnt about the hijab and make up issue?