Asalam Alaykum everyone, I hope you are in the best of health and imaan. In my country we are entering the last ten days of Ramadhan. So far this is not my best Ramadhan at all. Apart from fasting, there is not much difference from the other months of the islamic year. Still, as there are 10 days left, I will try my best to multiply the acts of ibaadat.
My mistake is to actually think I can do better next year. Nonetheless am I sure to be alive for the next Ramadhan? No.
Asalam Alaykum everyone. How are you? And what about your Ramadan? Alhamdulillah, I finally got a little time to update my blog. I am so happy to be able to do that. You truely find happiness in simple things right? Well this is just to share what’s going on in my life lately 😀
Well, let’s start with Ramadan. Fasting is going pretty well. I am glad I no longer spend the whole day sleeping (knock knock Fatma, I am alluding to your article here :D). Furthermore, I cook simple meals. I hate spending the whole day in the kitchen cooking complicated meals. I find it to be a total waste of time especially when you end up having a huge amount of food at the end of the day, not knowing what to do with them. So, I said STOP. No more of that! By the way, I can’t believe we are almost reaching half the month of Ramadhan, time flies, time flies, time flieeees!!
Secondly, a few words about my personal life. I have lot of projects in my mind and in sh Allah I am working on them so that they can come true. I feel alive and I am glad to work on things to break away from the routine as a housewife. Actually, I do feel from the depth of my heart that the life of a housewife does not suit me. I am used to a lifestyle where I have to be productive and active while when being at home, I always do the same things and I feel dumb, quite dead, almost like a robot. In sh Allah things are about to change.
I might be criticized by others who are of the opinion that women ought to stay at home and take care of their children’s education. Nonetheless, there is something inside of me that tells me I have to do more than that. Indeed I wish to work so that I can provide a better life for my son. His dad quitted his job, I don’t really know why as he always gives different reasons. Consequently, I find myself obliged to work as the father of my son seems not to be interested in looking for another job. He even told me he does not mind if on the contrary I’d be the one working while he stays at home. I am shocked, Allahu Alam.
All that aside, despite the ups and downs of life I am very excited because now I have set some goals in life for me and my son. When you set goals and you do your best to make them work, you feel lively, you feel you are good for something and you’ll do whatever is possible to work on “your mission”. Sometimes it takes time for us to realize what we are really good at and in which ways we can help the ummah. But once you find how you can take part in improving the world just a little bit, it is such a sweet a delight. Alhamdulillah, ya Allah!
I’m quite late but I do want to wish to you all brothers and sisters a Blessed Ramadan. I remember last year having read a post from a sister who compared Ramadan as a long lost friend that you meet once again. She expressed the various emotions we go through when meeting Ramadan every year and she was right.
You know few days before the start of Ramadan, I was worried and scared about how I will spend this year. I am actually feeling spiritually low and I was not happy to know that Ramadan was coming (Astaghfirullah, I know shame on me). However when The Imam on TV claimed that the moon was seen in our country hence Ramadan began, I was so happy and full of tears. I won’t be able to explain that behaviour.
Ramadan is magical, it is beautiful. It is a month full of blessings, a month when we can do our best to change our bad habbits, to pray to Allah and seek His forgiveness. Also, let’s not forget the rewards we get from our good actions are multiplied. Mash Allah.
Now I am tensed for Eid, but that’s another story!!!
Muslim parents always have that worry of teaching Islam to their children but many of us do it the wrong way.
I grew up in a Muslim family and when I was young my mother taught me and my other siblings Islam as a religion based on fears. “If you do not do this, you will go to Hell. If you do not dress properly, you will go to Hell. Why do you follow the footssteps of Shaitan (Satan)” The aforementioned sentences were among those she would always tell us.
Today as an adult I realize my mother was wrong. And this not a post to badmouth her. In fact there are many parents who fail to teach Islam in a correct way to their children. They focus on scaring their children about hell and Shaitan while they should start to teach about Allah (God). Allah is equal to love, patience. He is the Creator of everything. Shaitan is His creation too and not His opposite as many tend to make us believe. In Allah, we thus seek protection from evil because He is the one who protects best from everything bad that is on earth.
There are few points I’d like to highlight when teaching Islam to children:
1) Parents should always take into account the children’s age.
You do not talk about jinns for example to a toddler as he/she is too young for that. The other day I watched a video of Nouman Ali Khan in which he shared his astonishment when a couple told him they made their 6 years old child watch video about the dajjal (antichrist) and about the day of judgement. By doing such thing, parents will only scare children and instead of practice Islam out of love they will do it out of fear.
There are many islamic toys that parents can use to teach Islam to their children. In sh Allah I will try my best to share some websites with you.
2) Respect your children.
Grown ups always ask respect from children but there are those who behave in a rude way with them, why? Because children are children! If you do not show good manners to your children, there is no need to expect them to be well mannered. You are your children’s first rôle model. That is something important which we unfortunately tend to forget. By teaching Islam through orders, humiliation and violence, there are chances of your child not wanting to know about Islam or even hating it.
For example when it is prayer time and your child did not go for it, don’t yell or order him/her to go to pray. Instead tell him/her about the benefits of prayer and why it is an obligation for a Muslim to pray. It is the same thing for the hijab. A woman is asked to cover properly once she reach the age of puberty, but if you force your daughter to wear the hijab without having explained the reasons behind it, she will totally refuse to wear it.
3) Do not compare your child with another one.
Every child is unique, it implies that each child has weaknesses and strengths that are proper to him/her. So if you have a child who does not learn or memorize things as fast as another one, do not belittle him. If you do so, your child might lose confidence in him or even hate Islam. On the contrary, it is your duty to see how your child respond to your teachings and to change your method according to him/her.
I might have missed some other important points, you can let me know about them in the comment section. When it comes to talking about the bad effects of teaching Islam wrongly to one’s children, I can take the example of my mother. She never respected us and asked respect from us. She insulted us, she taught Islam to us by giving orders and beating us. She never told us why it was necessary to pray, why a girl had to wear the hijab, why to eat with the right hand instead of the left one, etc… But I do not blame her, I know it was because she herself did not know why a Muslim had to do things that way. That is why it is a must for Muslims to know about their religion. Many think that being Muslim automatically means you know Islam for A to Z but it is never the case.
Alhamdulillah, as I grew up I did my own research on Islam and I could find out the answer to some of my questions. However, it is not the case with one of my little sister who is always in conflict with my mother because of the incorrect way of teaching used by my mother. Now I see many Muslim scholars who underline the fact of respecting our children because what we do to them will come back to us.
© Fateema Abdallah
Asalam Alaykum, the following issue is a reminder to me first. We love posting islamic reminders but do we apply them? Do we share them with our families? It is important to nurture our soul with the teachings of islam before spreading those to others.
1) Everyone is so busy giving “da’wah” on Facebook that perhaps they’ve forgotten themselves. Remember, our biggest responsibility is our own souls first and foremost, followed by our families. This is one of the traps of the cursed shaytaan – we post ayaat and ahadeeth and reminders to benefit others, yet we neglect ourselves. Don’t be like the candle that brings lights to others by burning itself.
2) Facebook Forgetfulness Syndrome – you come across a good status that is beneficial, followed by another, and another and another. Before you know it, you’ve forgotten the beneficial posts and everything just goes over your head. We become “immune” to the goodly words, Allah’s aid is sought!
If we are careful of these two affairs then insha’Allah Instagram will be a bit more beneficial for us all
© Abu Ibraheem Hussnayn