The Truth About “Quiet” Verbal Abuse

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Asalam Alaykoum everyone. I am sharing an article which I think is very interesting for parents. It is about verbal abuse towards children, it is not about yelling but about ignorance, silence or the utterance of criticism in a calm voice. This article explains that quiet verbal abuse is as destructive as yelling given the fact that it leads to a loss of self confidence in the child, along with other negative consequences that can have an impact when the child is an adult.

It is very impoortant that as parents we inform ourselves about such issues as we are the pillars that will help our children to grow and become the adults who will live and act in tomorrow’s society.

Here is the article: The Truth about “Quiet” Verbal Abuse.

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Moi – Parfum Addict

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S’il y a une chose dont j’ai horreur c’est les mauvaises odeurs. Je n’aime pas tout ce qui sent mauvais moi inclut. Et si par hasard il arrive que je sentes mauvais et bien je fais de sorte à ce que ce problème soit résolu.

Moi et les parfums c’est une grande histoire d’amour et ce depuis ma grossesse. Une vendeuse qui travaillait dans une boutique islamique l’avait remarqué quand j’y me rendais pour m’acheter des huiles de parfums. Puis dans la rue, on me faisait remarqué que je sentais bon et on me demandait ce que j’avais mis comme parfum. Il s’agissait essentiellement d’huiles de parfums de la marque Al Nabil et ADN. Certaines me disaient que ces huiles de parfum avaient la même odeur que les parfums de marque tels que Dior et autres.

Ensuite, un jour vint où je me suis dit “Et si nous allions essayer ces parfums de luxe?”. Je l’ai fait récemment et je vais de ce pas vous présenter mes acquisitions: Le Jardin de Monsieur li de Hermès, Samsara de Guerlain, Lady Emblem de Montblanc et Very Irresistible de Givenchy. Hormis l’Eau de toilette de Hermès, je me concentre plus sur les eaux de parfum car à l’origine, ils sont plus intense que les eaux de toilette. De plus, j’ai tendance à m’acheter plusieurs parfums que je juge complémentaires pour pouvoir les marier ensemble car je suis le genre de personne qui est toujours à la recherche des choses uniques.

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Je vais essayer de décrire brièvement chaque parfum que je possède.

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Le Jardin de Monsieur Li: Sur ma peau l’odeur est légère. Ce côté agrume marqué par l’orange ou le citron? me fait transporter dans un endroit qui paraît pur et serein, un endroit où tout est zen. Mais le seul bémol c’est qu’au bout de quelques minutes l’odeur change et cela est dû à mon type de peau. Du coup, je suis obligé de le marier à un autre parfum mais je n’ai pas encore trouver lequel s’additionne le mieux au Jardin de Monsieur Li.

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Lady Emblem: Le parfum est très frais, fleuri je crois? mais aussi boisé. Je reconnais le côté fruité et j’aime bien pour le coup. D’ordinaire je ne supporte pas trop les parfums sucrés. Je me rappelle la fois où j’ai acheté Luna de Nina Ricci, mon Dieu je l’ai revendu direct :D. Alors ce que j’aime faire c’est d’associer Lady Emblem à Show de Thierry Mugler, les deux forment une excellente odeur.

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Very Irresistible Eau de Parfum: J’aime beaucoup ce parfum. Mon Dieu, le fait de le sentir c’est comme une drogue. C’est un parfum qui fait que l’on tombe amoureux de soi-même lol. Le parfum a une odeur de type fleuri, et ce genre de senteur c’est tout à fait mon style.

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Samsara: Mash Allah quel beau parfum! Je ne savais pas que les parfumeurs s’aventuraient dans le monde oriental et quand ils le font, il en résulte des odeurs impressionnantes. Samsara m’a surpris, voire étonnée. Je l’aime beaucoup car il a une odeur que l’on ne retrouve pas sur les gens dans la rue (comme c’est le cas avec le Lady Millon beurk!!!). Aussi, pour le porter il me semble qu’il faut être une femme de caractère. On perçoit l’odeur du jasmin si je ne me trompe pas et l’ylang l’ylang. Pour le moment, ce parfum je le porte seul, mais si plus tard je trouve un senteur qui se marie à lui, eh bien je les associerai ensemble.

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Voilà mon article est terminé. N’hésitez pas à laisser en commentaire le nom de votre parfum préféré car j’aime bien en découvrir de nouveaux.

© Fateema Abdallah

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“The Modern Marriage Trap — and What to Do About It” by Lisa Wade

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I am sharing an article I have just read. It is about the fact that women are being unappy in their marriage. According Lisa Wade the reason is simple: they have to think for others (household chores, planning things, taking care of children; cooking dinner, ect…) and feel they have no time left for them. Personally I agree with most of the points mentioned by the author as when I was married I felt I was losing myself and my mind because of busying my mind for the family to run right. In the end it was tiring.

To read more: “The Modern Marriage Trap — and What to Do About It” by Lisa Wade

In fact, according to research, the average married woman is less happy than the average married man, less happy than single women, less convinced that married people are happier than single people, and more likely to file for divorce. Once returned to single life, women’s happiness recovers, whereas men’s declines, and divorced women are less eager to remarry than divorced men.

Also  read : “The Invisible Workload That Drags Women Down” by Lisa Wade

Sociologist Susan Walzer published a research article in 1996, called “Thinking About the Baby,” pointing to this household gender gap. Scholars had already documented that women, even those who worked full time, were doing the majority of what came to be called the “second shift”: the work that greets us when we come home from work.

The Girl on The Train

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There are moments in your life when things go on in a very strange way but behind all this God is actually teachings you something, shedding light on those dark questions you’re asking yourself.

It started few days ago, at a time when I was totally lost and confused and I asked myself “Am I a mad person ? Never in my life I felt so confused, I cannot complete even the simpliest task…” and the self analysis went on and on. I then went on internet and boom, in some way and I don’t really know how, I came across an article which was describing the list techniques used by a manipulative person. The article mainly focused on men as being manipulators but I believe women can manipulate too.

So, everything became clear. A manipulator is someone who eventually ends being violent but in my case it did not happen. What was striking was the fact that some of the techniques listed on that article I could recognize them in my ex husband : blurred communication, changing what I really said and saying that I actually said what I did not say, blaming me for his faults, making me understand that he was the best one for me and that he knew what was good for me, making sure that I felt guilty for everything…

Then, I read many other articles on controlling husbands but I still wondered wether my ex was really one as he was not a violent person. Meanwhile I was becaming someone else, I felt like I was losing my mind while being by his side. There were days I no longer knew how to think by myself. It is unbelievable how such persons can keep you under control and I had read that some women took years to realize what was really happening.

Back to the title of the present article, it is that of a movie The Girl on the Train by Tate Taylor. It is a movie I watched while not having read the synopis, I was actually attracted by the sad face of the woman leaning her face against the window of the train. So you can’t imagine how astonished I was when I came to realize that it was about a woman discovering that her ex husband had been manipulating her and that he managed to make her believe in things she never did by forcing her to drink.

Why am I writing this post ? I don’t know about other women but from the day I had met my ex husband I never really found my place. There was always that man who told me what to do, how to behave and even HOW I SHOULD FEEL. If I needed some alone time I could not because it was my duty to look after our son. My mother always asked why I did not let our child with her for few days so I could rejuvenate. The answer is simple, my son’s father would not want it this way. As a consequence, even though I left him, I feel disgust for marriage, I see my pregnancy and experience as a mother like a disaster. I still can’t believe that in this world there are people who won’t mind using all the means they want so that you become what they want you to be. I dislike men who act like this and I cannot comprehend why most of you want to possess women as if we were just some objects. Damn it, we are human beings with dreams and goals, we can think , we can make choice and decide by ourselves – but some of you just come in our life with a distorted reality to keep us under control. Why ? All this for purely nurturing your ego and making you feel powerful.

On a good note, like Rachel in The Girl on the Train, I’m looking forward and I stop to look back because I know what I am worthy of and what is good for me or not.