My biggest mistake is to believe that the source of happiness is from outside. However, if I wait for someone else to make me happy, if I think that geting any material good will make me happy then I am truely wrong.
I have to change my way of thinking. I have to stop victimizing myself. I am a human whom God has given abilities, talents. I can do things to change my life even if they are little. People always say “Take baby steps”. They also say “Tun to God, pray to Him. He will take care of the biggest part and yu have to do the rest”.
YES. I want to change. I have to accept the consequences of my choices. I have to stop running away from my responsibilities. It is great that today alhamdulillah I have read some posts by Muslim mothers and they really inspired me. Everytime I feel down Allah miraculously brings solutions to me but I always ignore them.
I finally decide to make a change. I know it won’t be easy because life is about success and a lot of failures. I will focus on reading inspiring stories, quotes ect… as I did before because those really helped me to cheer up in sh Allah.
I will dedicate the time needed to my child. There are days I stayed away from him and he is becoming a nasty kid by my fault. He is only two so I think I can try to repair the bad I have done.
Below is a quote that shaked my gloomy mind and woke me up. I have to read it as much as I can so I stay motivated in my new decicion and choice in sh Allah
“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”
© Fateema Abdallah