Without You


How does it feel to be in love? My heart is impermeable to that feeling. It is a stone that does not melt.

What is it like to have butterflies in one’s tummy? I remember that once I had some in mine but the doors of my hear were so wide open that the butterflies went away.

Where are the nights when I used to think of you before sleeping. Why don’t the soft mornings come back again? I needed them to start a new day. You gave me the strength to cope with everything. By your side, I felt beautiful. With your love flowing inside of me I felt alive.

I miss that smile on my face looking at your pictures or reading your messages. I used to keep your words in a box, they were my own jeweleries, my treasure. And anytime I needed you, I would open it to find comfort in your written speeches. I read them many times, again and again, but I forgot to learn them by heart.


I am looking for those days when after our silly little fights our love grew stronger. How stupid I was to be sure that I would spend my life with you. We went as far as inventing a child of our own. It was a girl named Cutie. She existed only for you and me. She was part of our madness. Alas! She disappeared as soon as we ended our love story. Like a ghost turned into dust, she was blown away by the wind of time.

You went, I stayed and waited. You found another lady. My sadness forced me to step into the future and to leave you in the past. I hated you. Why does love replace hate in many cases? I don’t know the reason.

I offered my love to someone else. I forgot you. I thought I forgot you. One day, my path came across yours. It was like a junction where the past mixed with the present and then I remembered everything.

Is it a shame for one to dream or think about someone who is not his/her spouse? You said you were happy for me, happy that I did not wait for you and went ahead in life. I wish you to be happy too.

But still, a part of you remained in my heart. With time, you’ll probably fade away from me. A part of me is there with you no matter where you are. Without you, I will always feel incomplete.

© Fateema Abdallah


8 thoughts on “Without You

  1. My heart is…breaking. This is extremely touching. I usually *watch* from the sidelines, but I’ve decided to come out hehe. Your writing is really beautiful mA, barakAllah feeki. They’re always written carefully, filled with so much emotion, and so SO real. I’m a big fan. May Allah grant you endless happiness, goodness, and only reasons to smile in this life and the next. 🙂

  2. […]  Fateema Abdallah. I love her, because she’s my sister in Islam. She thought that I’ve inspired her through blogging, but I think she who has inspired me by her writings. She has ever taught me how to add animation in comment form. I like that, Sis. You have good ability in animation art. I like to see your blog. […]

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