During Ramadhan I felt I needed to see other Muslims than my husband. I live very far from my family so I cannot visit them very often. Taking the bus with a toddler is a big stress as one never knows what might be his/her reaction. Yes, sometimes I am scared of my son’s behavior. Say no to him or don’t give him something, he will start with his exagerated cries. You know how people are, as soon as a child cries, all eyes are on you accompanied with sighs meaning “Please ma’am, make your child STOP crying!!!!”.
Ok, back to the topic, I was saying I needed to see other Muslims because the presence of my husband as being the only Muslim I see everyday was not enough. He is of the opinion that one can stay at home and learn about Islam while I don’t share the same view. I need to see other people to learn Islam from them. When I spend my time at home reading islamic books/ articles or watching islamic lectures, I feel as if I did not learn anything. I knew I had to go to someone who had islamic knowledge and to hear him/her talk in front of me. I just wanted to be in front of a teacher and to listen like a student, so I went to Madressa.
Madressa is a kind of school where one learn about Islam. You can learn how to read the Qur’an and its explanation, you can learn invocations (what to recite before eating, going to the toilet ect….), you can learn about the prophet’s life, you can also learn about the angels, death, the purpose of this dunya (world) and many more. Yesterday, the class was about the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon Him) being mentioned in the Torah. What I liked is how lively the class was. It was given by a sister who studied Islam, we call her “appa”, I don’t know if in English you use the same word. The class was not monotonous, it was funny sometimes and made me realize that by having stayed home alone my definition of Islam was far from the true one.
Let me give you few examples.
1) First I automatically thought that trials were punishment while it was said that trials are a way to become closer to God. She also said that if you are constantly in trouble, then question yourself – you might be doing acts of worship in the wrong way.
2) Secondly, I knew I was becoming more and more selfish, during the class “appa” insisted on the fact that Islam is also about helping each other. Making things easy for someone is rewarded. The previous sentence makes me ponder a lot, I always complain about the difficulties of being a mother but I never ever thought for a minute that if I try to make my son feel alright I will be rewarded in sh Allah. So I have to change.
3) Thirdly, I am a person who tends to be arrogant. While delivering her speech, “appa” repeated that WE ARE NOTHING. Well, she did not mean to say that we are worth nothing but as compared to Allah (God) we are nothing. He can take our life anytime He wants. He is the One who bring diseases while He can also heals you. Why do we think we are more important/better than others? Why do we think we are more beautiful than others? Why do we think we are richer than others ect… Did we forget that our health, our wealth, our beauty was given to us by Allah. He may take them back anytime He wants, then what will we say? So we should always try to be humble and thankful for what we have. There is no reason to be a boaster.
I thank Allah for having enabling me to be part of the sisters who attended the class. It is always unbelievable how in life you are confronted with situations where it seems that Allah is sending a message to you. Appa delivered the lecture to all of us (sisters who attended the class) but in her lecture I felt as if Allah was speaking to me, giving me advice. It was like a secret just between me and Him.
I pray that Allah gives sisters who are alone the opportunity to meet other sisters. I can’t explain how soothing it is to be with other women who help you becoming better. Now I realize that you cannot learn Islam alone by yourself, it is necessary to attend places where Islam is being taught. Last but not least, seeing people always refreshes and awakens the heart 🙂