Why So Much Focus on Muslim Women?

bismillah-new-themeThese are some thoughts I wanted to write down because I was wondering wether I was wrong feeling this way or did someone else notice the fact that many islamic articles, scholars, books love to tell HOW MUSLIM WOMEN SHOULD BE AND BEHAVE.

I am not saying that women do not need some guidelines and tips on how to be a good muslima but why are people most of the times focused on women? Where are the men in all that? (Sorry this species temporarily diappeared while trying to educate women)

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When it comes to modesty, we love to highlight on how to cover a woman, stating how her hijab should be and how it is compulsory for her to wear loose clothes. And what about the muslim brothers then? What about muslim brothers who wear tight jeans/shirts? What about the muslim brothers who have extravagant haircuts? What about the Muslim brothers who wear jeans in such a way that their undergarments can be seen?

When it comes to handling a marriage , once again, many muslims will be like throwing millions pieces of advice on muslim women. “When your husband yells at you, do not raise your voice”. Do all the best to make your home a beautiful place where everyone can rest, especially for when your husband come back from work”. “You should always smell good, wear nice clothes ect...”. On the ther side, the husband can smell like fish, he can be dressed in his pyjamas and when he invites you to be intimate, forget about his bad odors, you just satisfy his needs. *roll eyes*

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Personally I have not yet seen many articles saying how both men and women should behave, because obviously only muslim women should make big efforts. Very often by listening to people around me or by my readings, I have the feeling that some muslims give women a very inferior place in society as compared to men. And astaghfirullah (God forgives me), this frustrates me a lot. Muslim women do not marry men to be their maids na, so why are most advice going towards that point? What is horrifying is the fact that some women believe it is normal to be treated like a servant while the husband just sit on the sofa doing nothing!!!!????

When it comes to punishment because of adultery: who are the ones being punished? I guess many of you know the answer. When basically it takes a man and a woman to commit adultery, whyyyyyyy do many “islamic countries” get the woman punished and not the man?????????? “Because it is her fault, because the devil whisper things to her to attain a man and bla bla bla” – that is what many muslim will say.

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Anyway, my conclusion is Allah gave rights to women, but there will always be people withdrawing these rights from women. Men will be men, this is what I feel. No matter what is the religion, men will always want to control everything they want including women. Hey, we are human beings with soul too and by no way we are one’s possessions.

P.S. Of course I am not putting all the brothers in the same bowl. Secondly, this article was written after my own experience (the articles I read, Youtube videos I saw, books I read, how people behave around me), therefore maybe my frustration is triggered off by the fact that I did not get the right islamic tools till now????

© Fateema Abdallah

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15 thoughts on “Why So Much Focus on Muslim Women?

  1. Assalamu’alaikum wa rahmatullah sister

    Jazak Allah khair. Enjoyed reading the post. The part about smelly men was toooo funnnnyyy. Eeeeeww!! :/ LOL. XD

    I’d like to make some points though, regarding the punishment for adultery, the Qur’an does not differentiate between a man and a woman. Both are to be punished equally if proven guilty. I don’t know about what’s being practised in the so-called Muslim countries. I’m not sure if they’re even qualified to be called as Muslim countries because there’s so much wrong going on and they hardly do anything about it. You have alcohol being served, nightclubs, no restrictions on clothing in public places etc. Clearly if these people feared Allah and followed the example of the prophet (salAllahu alaihi wa sallam) we wouldn’t be witnessing the constant turmoil and unrest in Muslim lands. May Allah help us all. Like it is stated in the hadith narrated by Abu Sa’id al-Khudri who reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:

    “You would tread the same path as was trodden by those before you inch by inch and step by step so much so that if they had entered into the hole of the lizard, you would follow them in this also. We said: Allah’s Messenger, do you mean Jews and Christians (by your words)” those before you”? He said: Who else (than those two religious groups)?” (Sahih Muslim 2669a)

    And this is what’s happening now. Muslims are adopting the culture and ways of non-Muslims. The message of Islam is clear, but we fail to practise it correctly. Picking and choosing in religion does not help.. I agree, some men–not necessarily Muslim–consider themselves as superior to women. This has always been the case, in fact societies were built upon the patriarchal system where women were treated as second class citizens. But Islam is against all such type of discrimination and sexism. The only thing that increases an individual in status is his or her taqwa (piety, righteousness) regardless of gender.

    There are a lot of websites out there, some really good and authentic ones and others made only to create doubts in the minds of people. Especially videos of women being stoned by men. Unless we’re absolutely sure of their authenticity we should not believe them to break true. And even if the video is from a true source how can we be sure the people executing the punishments are good Muslims and true representatives of Islam? It’s best to avoid reading and watching that which is doubtful. On the other hand there are some really good books and websites available. I’d suggest Kalamullah.com…it’s like a huge virtual library where you can read and download all types of Islamic books for free. And they even have lectures and videos you could listen to. 🙂

    May Allah ‘Azza wa Jal guide us all. Ameen! ❤

    • Asalam Alaykum sister, first of all sorry for the late reply. I intended to comment earlier but when I did so my son was doing all he could so that I cannot carry on with my typing, so I gave up.

      Jazak Allah for the website you mentioned, I will check it in sh Allah and you are right in saying that not every islamic sources/people are alike. I think I am just not surrounded by the right people.

      • Wa’alaikumussalaam wr wb,
        Ohh haha it’s okaaay!! I can understand 🙂

        Wa antum fa jazakAllahu khairan. Do check it out. It has some really good stuff masha’Allah.

        May Allah Ta’ala always grant us good company who help us in increasing our eeman. Ameen. Remember me in your dua’as. ❤

    • Assallaamu’Aleykum Warahmatullaahi Wabarakaatuh . Sister , May Allah reward you for you good intentions . However the website Kalamullah.com . Is a site that mixes truth and falsehood and because of that many unsuspecting Muslims fall victim to their misguidance . They have the books from the likes of Sheikhul Islam Ibn Taymiyyah and his student Ibnul Qayyim (Rahimahumullah, both scholars of the Sunnah) next to books of heretics like Sayyid Qutub who in his books could be hound the beliefs of the extreme Sufis like wahdatul Wujud(oneness of existence , the belief that everyone and everything is Allah even the shaytan). Sayyid Qutub whose books contains revilements of some of the companions of the Messenger of Allah (Sallallaahu’aleyhi Wassallam )and even mockery of the prophet Musa (‘Aleyhi Salam). Sayyid Qutub who is the modern day reviver of the way of the khawarij and predecessor of shayateen like Usama bin laden , Isis Boko haraam etc….
      In that same website are audios from many open callers to terrorism like ‘Ali Tamimi(who is in jail for life because of his call to terrorism etc..) , ‘Anwar ‘awlaqui (killed along with his son by a US drone while hiding in Yemen after enticing young Muslims to terrorism ) . ‘Anwar ‘Awlaqi whose call to terrorism inspired the likes of the Nigerian ‘Omar Faruq(who is doing life in prison for attempting to blow up an airplane full of people by having a bomb in his underwear).And there’s more to ‘Awar ‘Awlaqi ( who said he read the books of Sayyid Qutub so much he felt like Sayyib Qutub was next to him in his jail cell ,; no wonder he became a Khariji who called to terrorism ) .The likes of Khariji ‘Abdullah Faisal the Jamaican who call Muslims who disagree with him kuffaar without right and also got deported back to Jamaica England for calling to terrorism , just to name a few . Instead if this evil website , I would advise with one which is safe from misguidance and nothing but the Sunnah can be found it it .
      Please google :dr Saleh audios and click the first link with the words Salafi Saleh on it .
      May Allah protect and guide us all

  2. Assalamu alekum…I went thru this post…its was like you are writing what goes in my mind too…LOL…there are so many websites, books etc etc which emphasis only on women…we really need some books only for men 🙂 . We really need it in today’s world.

  3. This is to the sister who wrote this article along with those who commented in agreement with her . I advise you all to fear Allah and speak with knowledge( which from what is apparent ,you don’t possess) or remain quiet . Allah has in a detailed manner clarified the rights and responsibilities for each sex in His Noble Book as well as in the Sunnah of His Noble Messenger (Sallallaahu’aleyhi Wassallam ) He, The Most High also clearly mentioned the rewards as well as the punishments for those who obey and those who disobey , and our beloved prophet(Sallaallahu’aleyhi Wassallam ) did not betray the trust and surely taught this ‘Ummah all that was revealed to him by His Lord. . After him his noble companions also faithfully carried this noble religion and spread it’s message to almost everywhere on earth they were able to reach and were not treacherous in their conveying of the deen to the people . To this this day those who tread on their path , the scholars of the Sunnah and theirs students , those who call to the way of our righteous predecessors , are teaching the religion as was revealed to our noble messenger (sallallaahu’aleyhi Wassallam ) . If you desire to know and learn the deen from it’s correct sources I can gladly help . By leanrning it you’ll discover as countless brothers and sisters did of it’s undeniable beauty and perfectiion and if has no choice but to be perfect because it came from The One Who Is Perfect far Removed From any Imperfection . I also advise you to be specific and mention from amongst the people of knowledge , WHO call to the backwards affairs mentioned in your post . You will for sure find that they are either ignorant folks acting out of ignorance or deviated people acting out of evil desires and innovations and both of those are upon misguidance . I sincerely advise you all members of this blog or forum to fear Allah and help one another in righteousness and not in sin and transgression as our Lord The Mighty And Majestic ordered us in His Noble Book. You can contact me using my email if you wish to learn the deen from it’s pure sources by scholars who are the true inheritors of the prophets.

    • Asalam Alaykum, I surely have a lot to learn in Islam but in this article I was not criticizing this religion. I was pointing at the fact that many Muslim (see I did not say ALL MUSLIMS) always focused on how and what Muslim women should do and that from my experience I rarely have seen the case when it come for men.

      I thank you a lot for saying I don’t have knowledge and if I need more help regarding islamic matter I will absolutely not ask it from you because of the way you talked to me.

  4. Wa’aleykum Salaam Warahmatullaahi Wabarakaatuh . My sister I apologize for. my choice of words to convey what I’m convinced to be the truth in this matter . Again I apologize for that . I sincerely advise you not to reject the truth based on my personal mistake . We all humans and we all err . . The mistake is mine and I take it back . I would advise you to study from clear sources . I will share one of them . A link to a major student of Sheikh Salih Al ‘Uthaymeen (Rahimahullah ) by the name of Dr Saleh(Rahimahullah ) Please do not let my mistake prevent you from this extremely beneficial knowledge . This page is filled with very vital Islamic knowledge . From it you will see one example amongst many to do away with feelings that only women are mentioned when it comes to corrections . If you really want to change that (which It’s apparent that you do ) and other ills that might be present in your community , then take the time and study this deen from its true people of knowledge . And this advise is really first for myself and everyone that it reaches in this blog and beyond it . The Sheikh whose work is on the audios on this page has nothing to do with my mistake , rather he was one those who called to the way of our righteous predecessor . Below is the page with the audio and pdf classes . Audio: Saleh As Saleh (rahimahullaah)
    [Read the Articles and Books Here ]

    Dr Saleh As-Saleh (rahimahullaah) was from the foremost students of Shaykh Ibnul-Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah). He took knowledge from the Shaykh from a long distance for a while, then on a continuous basis from 1412-1415H and then regularly from 1415H where he became a dedicated student and studied with him until his death in 1421H. Dr Saleh lived around 500 yards from Shaykh’s Ibnul-Uthaymeen’s house and has been blessed by Allaah to have obtained a PhD in Medical Biochemistry and was a professor at Qaasim University, KSA. Furthermore, he was a well-known author of many great writings and books. He resided in ‘Unayzah, KSA and was active in his call to the salafi da’wah. He used to hold regular classes in the English Language on Paltalk.

    The website of Dr. Saleh as-Saleh rahimahullaah now maintained by his son : http://understand-islam.net

    Audio Files (mp3)

    Advices and Reminders – Topics include: anger – envy – patience – repentance

    Dua – Points of Benefit
    Dua – Understanding and Rulings

    The Three Fundamental Principles
    Explanation of The Four Rules
    Reviewing the Creed-Al-Hakami – Based upon the book of Shaik Al-Hakami
    The Correct Creed – Based upon the book of Shaykh al Burjiss
    Al-Qadaa wal Qadar Pre-Decree
    Explanation of Basic Rulings and Principles of Fiqh of Shaykh Ibn Sa’di
    The Concise Fiqh : Purification

    Hadeeth – Al-Bukhari Book of Ar-Riqaaq
    Hadeeth – An Nawawi 40 Hadeeth
    Hadeeth – An Nawawi Riyadus us Saliheen
    Hadeeth – Ibn-Hajar Buloughul Maraam – Tahara – Cleanliness

    Hadeeth – Ibn Hajar – Explanation of Nukhbatul Fikar
    Explanation of Al-Haafidh Ibn Hajar’s Nuzhahatun Nathar, a commentary on his Classical Nukhbatul Fikar in Hadeeth Classification.

    Important Lessons for the Ummah – Ibn Baaz

    Important Matters Requiring Clarification

    Jihad in Islam

    Knowledge & Etiquette in Seeking it
    Knowledge – Sources of Knowledge In Islam – Topics include “Authoritative Validity of Sunnah”

    New To Islam

    Goodness and Necessity of Islam – Based upon the work of Sh. Ibn Baaz
    How to Understand Islam?
    The Search for The Truth
    Who Deserves to be Worshipped Alone? – Series of lectures explaining the belief in Allaah
    Wisdoms of Mans Existence on Earth

    Pillars of Islam

    Pillar1 – The Shahaadah – Testimony of Faith
    Pillar2 – Salah – In Islam
    Pillar2 – Salah – Described
    Pillar2 – Salah – Points of Benefit
    Pillar2 – Salah – Sujuud As Sahw
    Pillar2 – Salah – Umdatul ah-Kaam

    Pillar3 – Zakah

    Pillar4 – Fasting – Buloughul Maraam
    Pillar4 – Fasting – Issues FAQ
    Pillar4 – Fasting – Ramadhan
    Pillar4 – Fasting – Umdatul ah-Kaam
    Pillar4 – Fasting – Women Issues FAQ

    Pillar5 – Hajj
    Pillar5 – Hajj – QA

    Points of Benefit – General

    The Heart and Its Diseases – Based upon the work of Ibn Taymiyyah and Ibnul Qayyim rahimahumullaah

    The Benefits of Taqwa
    Based on the Book The Benefits of Fearing Allah (Formerly titled – From the Fruits of Taqwaa) – by Shaykh Muhammad Saleh Al Uthaymeen

    Quran – Points of Benefit
    Quran – The Glorious Quraan

    Fitan and Deviations :Contemporary Issues

    Bidah-Innovation in the Deen

    The Dispraise of Al-Hawaa (Lowly Desire) – Imaam Ibn al Qayyim

    Religions and Sects – Quranites – The Rejectors of Hadeeth
    Religions and Sects – Rejectionists Shia
    Religions and Sects – Rejectionists Shia – Questionss that lead shia to truth
    Religions and Sects – Sikhism
    Religions and Sects – The Reality of Sufism
    Religions and Sects – Creeds of the People of the Scriptures
    Religions and Sects – Deviated Practices

    Rulings Related to Death and Funerals (Janaza)

    Rulings on New Matters
    Rulings on Oaths
    Rulings on Travel Related To – Salah – Fasting
    Rulings on Sacrifice : Udhiyah – Hadee – Aqeeqah
    Rulings on Vows
    Rulings Related to Custody of Children

    Muhammad sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam

    Knowing the Prophet – Some Seerah Lessons
    Qualities of Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam)
    FAQ and Clarification of Misconceptions Concerning Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam)
    The Prophets

    Stories of Prophets & Messengers
    Clearing Misconceptions Concerning the Prophets
    Clearing Misconceptions Concerning Prophet ‘Eesaa
    Aromatic Fragrance and Permeating Incense (Biographies of Prophet and Abu Bakr – Q&A Format)

    Roles and Merits – Sahaba and Tabe’een
    Scholars – Pearls of Grace and Wisdom
    Lessons from Stories of Muslims

    Tafseer – Principles of Tafseer – Topics include compilation of Quran and abrogations
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 01 Al-Faatihah
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 02 Al-Baqarah
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 18 Al-Kahf
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 31 Luqman – Verses 6 – 19
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 36 Yaa-Seen
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 49 Al-Hujuraat
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 50 Qaaf
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 51 Adh-Dhaariyaat
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 52 At-Tuur
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 53 An-Najm
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 54 Al-Qamar
    Tafseer – Explanation Surah 78-114 – Tafseer Juz Amma

    Tahara – FAQ – Salah – Wudhu – Ghusl
    Tahara – Umdatul ah-Kaam – Purification

    Al-Bukhari’s Book of Tawheed

    The Beneficial Saying on The Book of Tawheed

    The Meaning of Allaah’s Most Beautiful Names

    Understanding Worship – Fiqhul Ibaadaat – QA Format
    Based on the Book “Fiqhul ‘Ibaadaat (Understanding Worship) – Q&A format” – by Shaykh Muhammad Saleh Al Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah) – Rendered into English by Dr. Saleh As-Saleh

    The Caller to Allaah – Manners and Qualities
    The Correct Response for Those Who Altered the Religion of Jesus

    The Concise Admonition – Shaikal-Islam Ibn Tayemmeyah

    Book of Marriage
    FAQ – Marriage – Relationships – Travel
    FAQ – Clarifications Womens Issues
    Mutah – Temporary Marriage

    Rulings on Natural Blood of Women
    Based on the Book “Natural Blood of Woman” – by Shaykh Muhammad Saleh Al Uthaymeen

    The Hijab
    The Mothers of the Believers

    Share this, Baarakallaah Feekum: [“One who guides to something good has a reward similar to that of its doer” – Saheeh Muslim vol.3, no.4665] [This website protects the copyrights of the authors/publishers. The Content is posted on this website with implicit/explicit permission from content owners. If you find any copyright violations please inform the same.]
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  5. ‘Afwan sister I though by copying and pasting the page , one would be able to play the audio contents . To get to the link , please type dr Saleh audios on Google , then click on the link on the top of the page with the words Salafi Saleh .
    Please share and get the reward .

  6. Assalam Aleikum Warahmatul laahi wabarakatuh dear sister. Most of people on earth will lead you astray from the path of God, they follow their own conjecture and do nothing but guess. 6 :116 I believe that women cover up not because of their weakness, but because of the weakness of the men. Men are the ones who are having trouble mostly to keep their private parts to themselves, it is well known men were created weak. Men should be thankful to women who cover up because of their weakness. Men need to start to work on their spiritual strength of resistance and not be led by their private parts and if something out of Sharia law happens that is the woman to blame. May Allah grant all women patience, freedom and respect they deserve. Woman and man in Islam should be equal, men have only more responsibility because he is the one who has to take care of her not to control her! Dear sister listen to your heart and do not follow anything which makes you feel not right in it. May Allah grant you happiness in this world and after world.

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