Am I the only overwhelmed mommy?

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When browsing the net in the search of tips from mothers, I was impressed by the fact that most of them only talk about how great is motherhood. Their website is a little bubble surrounding pictures of them and their children all smiling and having fun. Each new post is about happiness and that is. It is only once that I had came across a website of a mother who dared to say that women seldom talk about the other side of motherhood.

Yes! let’s face it! We seem to live in a world where people think because a woman carried a baby in her womb for nine months, she is the only one who is able to tackle all the difficulties associated with motherhood. Congrats if you are such a woman! As far as I’m concerned, I am far from being such a person.

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I am happy to have my son, but there are many days when I can’t help but cry because motherhood is something which is too much to handle. On top of that, I have a husband who refusee to let our son spend a day with one of his grandmothers. He is of those men who think “God made women to have babies, so women can face the problems all by themselves. NO EXTERNAL HELP NEEDED!!! What’s more, like many men do, he does not help me much either.

As a consequence, I am getting lost day by day. I don’t really enjoy my motherhood. I am stressed from morning to night. It follows that I am most of the time grumpy. I feel I am among the worst mothers because I am not able to correctly take care of my son. And yet, I think it is not late to start afresh, I just wish that in sh Allah someone could tell me how to organize one’s day when having children.

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I had no idea that being a mother could be so challenging. I think my deception is derived not only from how motherhood is depicted on TV but also from the blogs I read where women rarely talk of the hidden truths of motherhood.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy your motherhood. And please, if you have any tips for me or if you can suggest me some websites/blogs to read on, you are more than welcome to share these with me 🙂

May Allah keep you in the best of health and imaan. Asalam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu.  © Fateema Abdallah

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10 thoughts on “Am I the only overwhelmed mommy?

  1. As salamu alai kum dear sister,

    I really hope things get better and Allah subhanah wa ta’ala eases it for you. I don’t really have a solution and neither can I help you from this distance, but I shall make duaa for you in shaa Allah. Don’t loose hope..after hardship comes ease.. may you be rewarded. Ameen.

    Your sister in Islam.

  2. That is the reason why I made my blog because I believe mothers need all extra help they can get! And trust me, most mothers myself included have had one of those days where we feel completely overwhelmed and exausted. InshaaAllah check out my blog to get some really good tips. May Allah make it easy for all us! Allahuma amin.

    muslimmothersource.wordpress.com

  3. Assalamu aleikum dear sister… there is wisdom in the old adage that ‘it takes a village to raise a child’. You’re not alone in finding it a struggle at times and as a single parent I know that it’s extremely challenging to do a ‘good job’ of motherhood without adequate support. That you need assistance is not a reflection of your worth or your ‘abilities’ as a mother… it’s unhelpful to you and your son to allow yourself to harbour those thoughts… though I understand why you might feel that way… You’re not failing dear sister you’re struggling and that is not unexpected for any parent let alone one facing the role almost singlehandedly… I know I would be really lost without the help of my parents… I pray that Allah swt makes it easy for you and as the above sister said feel free to email me any time in sha Allah… I read your poem just now and came on initially to comment on that… sister this life is a tesr and it’s not easy at all… Allah swt is our ultimate support… and our provider.. Ar Razzaq and when we feel our iman dip we have to force ourselves… to drag ourselves to that mat and to call out to Him constantly throughout the day. Sister He will help you. He is the answerer of duas and the dua of the oppressed is so powerful subhan Allah… We are one ummah however and it’s not enough to just tell people to have sabr… yes this is our aim and true help lies with the Almighty alone but it is the duty of the ummah to support one another also. Get in touch with your sisters in Islam who offer you support and a listening ear… If you cry out to Him help will come… Remember the most beloved to Him are those who are tested most and even our beloved prophets may peace and blessings be upon them all struggled and suffered but they were not ‘failing’.

    Allah says: “Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said: ‘When (will come) the help of Allah?’ Yes! Certainly, the help of Allah is near!” [Soorah al-Baqarah (2): 214]

    Dear sister… keep on to your faith in His promise. Only an email away if you do need anything sister. May Allah increase you and grant you His ease Ameen.

    • May Allah reward you greatly sister. Indeed I feel I need to talk to some sisters so that those negative thoughts stop bothering me . And it will be helpful to have some tips from you as being a single mother. In sh Allah I will contact you 🙂

  4. Assalamu aleikum sister… I came by to comment on your poem but came across this… then wrote you a message and seem to have lost it 😣… Struggling is not failing dear sister… parenting without support is extremely challenging and even the most well supported parents have their moments… I’m just an email away if you do want to get in touch… as a single parent I can relate, though admittedly I have a lot of support from my parents alhamdulillah… Remember His promise sister… call out to Him often and He will help you…
    Allah says: “Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said: ‘When (will come) the help of Allah?’ Yes! Certainly, the help of Allah is near!” [Soorah al-Baqarah (2): 214]

    • I thank Allah that He sent you to my blog to uplift me with your words sister. Thanks for having quoted this verse, I am too selfish for only thinking about myself while other people had much greater trials.

  5. Assalamu aleikum sister… I only came across your replies now and see that my messages both delivered after all so excuse the repetitiveness in sha Allah :)… I would drop you a message to say I pray you are doing well… remember feel free to email any time in sha Allah ta’ala
    jannahasmygoal@gmail.com xx Your sister in Islam wswrwb

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